If all goes well, I should finish a draft of my work-in-progress in the next two weeks or so. But it’s rare that all goes well, and right now I feel like I’m trying to bring this plane in for a landing with one engine on fire. I have to keep reminding myself that the important thing is to make the landing, regardless of what condition the plane is in when I touch down. There will be casualties, sure, but I can’t bail out and let this thing crash into the side of a mountain. I’ve come too far.
I think I’ve exhausted that analogy, but the point is to get words down on paper, even if I’m certain many of these words won’t end up in the finished product. I’ve had mixed results over the past week or two. At least one chapter is almost entirely a placeholder, and I don’t expect much of it to survive the next draft. Another is rough, but I think the bones are solid; it’s something to build on rather than tear down to the foundation. (I’m mixing metaphors all over the place today, huh?)
I tell myself that this is all part of the process, and the important thing is just to forge ahead, but a writer’s confidence is always in flux. (As always, I can only speak for myself here, but I do know enough other writers who deal with the same doubts to feel reasonably sure I’m not alone in this.) As the endgame of my work-in-progress approached, I tried something a little different and outlined the last ten chapters. I’m not usually much of an outliner; I might have brief sketches of the next two or three chapters jotted down, but that’s about it. In this case, there are enough moving parts to the story and enough character arcs that need to be resolved that I felt an outline of the last chunk of the book was warranted. I can’t say I’ve found it very helpful, though, so this might be a skill I need to work on.
But also, without getting too personal here, the past couple of weeks haven’t been the easiest. The part of my brain that usually keeps busy solving narrative problems and finding new paths forward has been engaged with other things. Usually when I sit down to write, I’ve got a few ideas that have been percolating a while to get me started. The book is alive in my head, and I pick up where I left off. That hasn’t been the case of late; instead, I stare at the outline and try to engage with it, and start writing in hopes that inspiration strikes.
Maybe I should have taken a break these past few weeks, but that’s rarely a good idea for me because once the story is no longer living in my head, the momentum is gone. When that happens, the project usually just goes into a drawer. Sometimes it never comes back out. I’m too close to the finish line to let that happen this time. It may not be pretty, but I’m determined to get there. At that point, the real work (and hopefully the real fun) can begin.
Taking a break and giving myself a break aren’t the same thing, however, and I have to be okay with my subpar output of late. I’m only human, and real life takes precedence over my fictional friends. If I was under contract and had a deadline, I guess I’d have to think about this in a different way, but as it is, no one is waiting for me to finish this draft except me. The good news is no one else has to see it unless and until I’m happy with it.
News & Notes
The winners of the Lowdown Road ARC giveaway have been selected! Congratulations to Jeremy Koster and Hayden Childs. If you entered the contest but didn’t win, here’s your second chance. I’ve got another copy to give away, so simply like this post and you’ll be eligible to win it! I’ll randomly draw the winner at noon Friday, February 24. This offer is only open to those who entered the original giveaway.
Sorry you’ve had a rough few weeks. I think I know where some of that is coming from. And I totally agree about output. There are times, like today, when I feel like I’m just going through motions with my creative work, that I may need to deconstruct everything I’ve done, but it’s always worthwhile doing. Waiting for the time to be perfect to create is always the bad choice, at least for me.
I hope up coming days and weeks are easier.
❤️
Great song by Rockpile.